Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
