Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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