oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Randomize
