O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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