Whod you bang
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
