I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Randomize
