We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Randomize
