Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
love makes seman taste better
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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