He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Randomize
