I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Randomize
