Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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