omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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