He asked to "fluff my boner.."
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
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