i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
