Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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