we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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