I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
