And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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