I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
