goodnight i made you a song goodbye
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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