Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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