So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
