i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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