im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
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