i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
