why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
