Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
