Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(913): View more from Kansas

id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"

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(704): View more from North Carolina

I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is

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(630): View more from Illinois

between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before

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(309): View more from Illinois

(917) i just came from walking.

(309): View more from Illinois

haha you just came from walking?

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(816): View more from Missouri

I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.

(913): View more from Kansas

Nobody is perfect

(816): View more from Missouri

I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other

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(229): View more from Georgia

My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.

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(917): View more from New York City

I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.

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(702): View more from Nevada

“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears

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