my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
you mean i was at the winter classic?
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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