Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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