You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
