playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
