I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
