I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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