spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
