i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
