"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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