he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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