Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Randomize
