i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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