but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Randomize
