He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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