you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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