please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Randomize
