i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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