How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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