I accidentally had phone sex last night
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Everything about him screamed your future.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
A+ Viking dick
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
