I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize
