Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
