You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Just cropdusted the office
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Randomize
